The Great Port Townsend Bay Kinetic Race
"Offishul Rules"
#######################################################################################
A.1 All entrants in the race must accept and sign the waiver of all
responsibility ( waiver form) , offishul
pilots and pit krew.
1.b Entry forms, waiver sheets, and entry fees must be in 10 days before the
race in order to receive pilot's
wings and other fringe benefits. Last minute entries may forfeit some benefits.
1,C Sculptures must be people powered . Sails and non propulsive energy allowed.
1-d Entry must complete race to qualify for any race award . Each sculpture may
have in-numerable pilots.
Each pilot must have one pit krew member .
#2 Pit krews must consist of humans only. D.N.A sample may be required.
2TB At least one " Teddy Bear" to be on sculpture at all times.
2a No pulling or pushing allowed, except by offishul pit krew and pilots.
Pushing, etc. , earn penalties, except
in the Dismal Bog. ( Offishul push rope only).
2.78 All machines must be no more than 8 feet wide while on the road, highway,
and freeway .
2 1/2 Your sculpture must not be dangerous or harmful to yourself or anything
else in the world .
2 4/3 Your entry number must be visable on your sculpture. The name of your
sculpture should be visible
for the benefit of spectators , TV crews , magazine writers , K-Kops and judges.
3 It is not a rule to have a sponsor , but it does pay the bills.
3.05 During timed competition, no relief pilots will be allowed , unless
specially authorized by the race
committee . Pilots must stay with their sculpture . No riding on pit krew
vehicle .
3.141 You may not start the race until you have passed the offishul inspection.
The following safty equipment
must be on board at all times : Life preservers , approved warning triangle
12"x12' , operable brakes ,
paddle or oar, each pilot must have a safety whistle accessible while on
the water Kourse.
3.a All special terrain equipment must be on board the machine at all times .
4.44 All machines must stay on kourse at all times . An intentional violation
will result in a 30 min. penalty .
and a series of dirty looks. The kourse is marked with visable check points. You
must go through all check points.
4F Anti Boozer Law; exersise the utmost self-restraint . Alcohol (C2H5OH) , will
not be consumed by pilots or
pit Krew while racing . Infraction Will result in banishment .
4g The race begins with a " LeMans " start , at low noon . Pit krews or
spectators are not to assist pilots at the
start . No pushing skulptures from the start . Pilots on board , pit krew off
the street .
5. No passing where it would interfere with traffic or your own personal safety
. Slower vehicles must use
turnouts or pull off the road. This is a road race . Traffic laws and common
sense apply .
5 3/4 There will be a 30 min. penalty for not driving the whole length of the
race on board your sculpture,
When there is an impass , or rest time , your sculpture may not move in the
racing direction .
6n. Coast Guard approved life preservers must be worn by all aboard during the
water crossings ,
breakage of this rule will result in disqualification .
7-11 Remember that the offishuls are doing the best they can. If things are
not going your way , take it personally- they are picking on you .
8 There will be a 30 min. penalty for a water tow, unless by human power .
8ball Port Townsend Bay currents are treacherous . Watch out for Giant Crabs and
Clam eating people .
8c High Anxiety Rule : Make sure you can get out of your skulpture in an
emergency . Quick exit .
9am No sniveling , kicking , biting , scratching , or other fisticuffs . Break
this rule and your knocked out .
10 The Agony Of Defeat Rule ; You can't lose unless you complete the race . A
skulpture must negotiate the
Kourse , may not be assisted by any vehicle , except on the water for emergency
, and may not be
transported by any vehicle . Infraction of this rule will result in banishment
from the race .
10-10 Bog Rule - You must be in and out of the Bog in 10 minutes or you get 10
minutes added to your time .
11-7 There will be a time penalty of 15 minutes for all infractions of rules
unless otherwise noted .
11.9 In case of Sun , the race will be held anyway . The Race begins at the
sound of the Cheap Shot, at Low Noon .
XXX "Because , I said so ! " , Rule . Statement given to anyone who questions
Kinetic authority .
XYZ Cheating is not a right , but a privilege . For The Glory !
KINETIC KOPS KODE of KONDUCT
A1 Kinetic Kops tell no lies , but we don't have to tell the truth .
B2 Kops will issue tickets for any infractions or outfractions from the racers
or
spectators . Racer infractions will be reported to the judges .
C3PO Kops will be in charge of traffic and Krowd Kontrol .
D Dress code - Dresses are optional .
WD40 Safety and security will be observed and enforced during race events .
SB We don't need any stinking badges !
Z Bribes may be taken to overlook infractions .